New Year’s Resolutions

I have made a few resolutions, some more serious than others, some running related and some not.

The most important one is obviously my goal of making ‘fireworks’ my most used word on Facebook for the second year in a row.

I want to take my training a lot more seriously this year – do the proper stuff that I don’t do because it’s hard (hills).  Follow a plan for both marathon and ultra training, race well, keep myself healthy.

I’d like to lose some weight.  I’m pretty much the heaviest I have ever been in my life, and I’d like to have less to carry around 35 miles of Round Ripon course come October.  I’d love to say that I am happy with how I look and all of that, but I’m not.  I’m self concious and I feel horrible.  It’s not a good way for someone who has a very unhealthy relationship with food to begin with, so I am going to try and lose weight without being extreme about it.

I want to be a doctor by the end of the year.  I want to be a doctor by the middle of the year.  Hopefully that’s going to happen.

I want to stop doubting myself.  That’s the tough one, I suspect.

Merry Christmas!

Today I rode for around an hour, so I didn’t run.  It’s been a while since I have ridden that long and I could definitely feel it in my legs!  Plus, this is the first year that I have hosted a proper Christmas so with all the cooking (and, it has to be said, eating and drinking) there wasn’t the time, or the inclination, to get out and run.

But it was a little sad.  Although I had some good friends, and Tin Man, and the Neon Toddler around at my house, it was still a bit bittersweet.  I would have liked to be with my family in Australia.  This is the first year that I’ve really missed having my family all together for Christmas.

I got some good gifts, including some gels, some running socks, a book on running by Paula Radcliff, and entry to a half marathon in February.

What running-related gifts did you get?

Edinburgh Marathon!

Capture1Well, there’s the goal race.  So now I’ve got the marathon in May and the ultra in October, and just need to find something for the middle (a small part of me still hopes I can pick up a solo entry to TR24 close to the time from an injury/drop out/something of that ilk).

I think it’s pretty fitting that Edinburgh will be my first proper marathon, because I ran my first race ever during the EMF weekend in May 2012.  It was Mr. Neon’s first marathon back then, so he will be able to give me some course notes!

I went for a run this morning, and it was horrible and wonderful.  On shorter runs, I often forget that the first part of the run is always shitty.  It’s hard when you struggle through kms 2 to 4, but you’re just on a 4 km run.  That means you don’t get to pass through that terrible running time and into the feeling good running time.

So, I’m looking forward to perhaps a 10-12km run this weekend.

My plan at the moment is to run two mornings a week, and once on the weekends for a month, then start adding in an extra day during the week, and perhaps an extra weekend run if I’m feeling good.  Then, I will start a proper marathon training plan in the new year.

For now I’m just excited by running again, which I haven’t felt for a long time!

Anyone else running Edinburgh?

On wanting to run

I have deferred my entry from the Thames Trot 50 mile race, on February 1st.  I am now running Round Ripon 35 miler on October 4th.  I’ve done this for several reasons, but mainly because I want to prepare properly, and at this stage I am no where near proper preparation for TT, and I would just injure myself more.

I am hurting a lot at the moment, and a lot of that has to do with not running.  And, it’s not injury, it’s emotional hurt.  Tin Man and I are separating, and I am finding that it’s difficult to get out and run at all, because I pick up the Neon Toddler from nursery and have to get her home for dinner, then bath and bed and I’m doing it all on my own (well, my nights anyway, which at this stage are the majority of nights).  It’s hard.  Trying to be a good parent, and a good person, and a good writer.  Trying to finish my PhD and then, when it’s all over, trying to make time to run.  It doesn’t matter if I want to run at 10pm, because I can’t.  I physically cannot get out of the house because the Neon Toddler is asleep, or in the bath, or needs dinner.  I don’t want to take her out in the running buggy in the cold.

I am going to start running home from the nursery drop off – but that eats in to my working time.  I think I need to make that small sacrifice though.  It’s about a 6km run home, I could make it longer as I get on.  As it is, that’s 2km further than I’ve run in over a month, so even twice a week would be a start.  I’m going to start on Wednesday (I have the Neon Toddler at home on Tuesdays, so no nursery).

What I really need is a marathon, perhaps in May, that I can really start training for.  Anyone fancy spotting me an entry to the Edinburgh Marathon?

I have lost control

Lots of things have been going on recently.  I have moved.  I am finishing my thesis.  I have been busy.

I know that I used to make time for running but it’s a lot harder now.  Actually, I want to run but it’s difficult when one has a toddler and a thesis that both demand attention RIGHT NOW.  I have not run in several weeks.

I am going to go for a run this weekend.  Perhaps two.  I have scheduled them into my diary.  I am going to go and explore my local area, run around my new park, take in some sights.  Be with myself.  Then I’m going to come home and have a bath (probably, or just slump onto the floor in a mess of pain and anguish, depending how the running goes.)

I must run.  I need to run.

 

I will run.

Running. It’s awful.

So I went running.

The good bits: no knee pain, no ankle pain.

The bad bits: everything else.

It probably wasn’t smart to run with the buggy for my first run in two weeks, but I did.  As a result Neon Toddler screamed intermittently for the 2 1/2km I managed.  That’s right – just two and a half kilometers.  I’m not that concerned about the distance, I’m more happy that I got out.  I think the next run will be much better, and the one after that.  I will make a decision on Thames Trot soon, but I think I will defer my entry to another race.

The good thing is I have done it.  I have run for the first time back, and now I can just keep running.  It was funny because I was starting to make excuses not to run – it’s going to be hard, I won’t be able to run a long way, my knee might be sore still.  All kinds of things.

I also got my delivery of Tribe Sports gear today!  That, in part, prompted me to just get out and go for that bloody run rather than making any more excuses.  You can check out the shop here.  I will do a review once I have run a bit more in them but I got a pair of capris, a t-shirt and two singlets.  Mr. Neon got a pair of shorts, a half-zip top and a t-shirt.  We were backers from the Kickstater project that the people at Tribe Sports put together, so we’ve been eagerly awaiting this gear for a while now!  It’s exciting that it’s finally here!

Anyway, now I am going to give the Toddler a piece of toast and a bath, and tomorrow I will run again.

Being Injured Sucks

I haven’t been running.  In fact, I haven’t run for a week now.

I am cranky.  I am over it.  I have lost my ability to find time to go for a run.  And, it’s all because I fell over a week and a half ago and hurt my knee.

I rested, but raced that Sunday.  I probably shouldn’t have but I love to race and I was really looking forward to it.

But now I am finding it hard to start running again.  What if my knee still hurts? (not that I will know if I don’t run…) What if it’s harder than it was before?  What if… what if… what if.

Injury sucks, and it’s so hard to start again.

But, I’m going to go for a run this afternoon.

 

I promise.